Given this past week’s hair raising, red state affirmation of restrictive, misogynistic enforcement in regards to women’s bodily autonomy, my blogger pal Becca over at FlowerAlley wrote a post that highlights the effects of the proposed wing-clipping of women residing in the fertile age bracket, and beyond. Last week’s shenanigans left me rather speechless… Leave it to say I have not felt this incredulous since I learned that insurance pays for Viagra more often than it pays for birth control. This is all SO, so wrong…!
First, I want to say that I don’t think there is such a thing as being “pro-abortion” – unless maybe if you’re an insurance bean counter figuring out how much you can charge for one. I know of NO ONE who has ever gotten pregnant so they could have an abortion. Conversely, I know of many who have had sex. Whether voluntary or not, sex is both requisite and precursor to pregnancy as well as abortion, so this observation brings up a gnarly truth; here, an ounce of prevention is worth a shitload of redemption. Yet, the same states signing these bills into law, are the ones that refuse a sex ed curriculum from being taught in school, and preach abstinence as the alternative. You just KNOW that’s a recipe for disaster. But, I digress…
I tend to think that humor and mockery is a worthy way of a) pointing out the ridiculousness of, and b) dealing with this nationwide onslaught of priggish adherence to medieval norms, so Becca’s brilliant analogy inspired an idea. Of course one should never generalize, but I’m guessing that anyone reading this blog on a regular basis is probably a fellow gardener. And, as gardeners often are, they are probably standing with both feet firmly rooted in a belief system that leans more toward maintaining our hard-fought female autonomy, and they know the value of planting the right plant in the right place – however and whenever they choose to create life – in wombs or in gardens.
I welcome you, dear commenters, to express your indignation in slogans (I say that in plural, because I’m sure our collective minds can come up with several catchy ones) that point out the sickening societal regression currently being signed into law in several states, shamelessly baiting for an eventual Supreme Court reevaluation of the 1973 federal, legislative landmark of women’s rights – Roe v. Wade. Below are a few results of our combined and rather indiscriminate brainstorming. Feel free to add to the list. So, have at it, friends – formulate your own, witty, venomous verbiage into thoughtful statements that suffocate the madness of our time with the healing grace of humor. Time is overdue for some indignation, and profoundly felt protesting. Let the brainstorm begin – for no other reason than that it should make us feel better, despite the bewildering situation. And heck – at some point, I might even make myself a t-shirt! (Obviously, some of these are terrible, but no matter – blurt it out now, and edit and refine later!)
- Ovaries against Patriarchal Pollination
- Flowers Against Forced Pollination
- Buzz off!
- Beware of Parasitoid WASPs!
- Bees, not Bastards (Disclaimer: I can totally see how this one could be perceived as an undeserved poke at anyone born outside of the WASP sanctioned institution of marriage. It isn’t meant to be. In this context, the possibility is great that the same people that sponsor and pass these draconian laws are the ones who would pass such a judgement, and who ironically fulfill the alternate meaning of the word. Still, I can totally see it might be misconstrued.)
- Birds, Bees, Blooms, Babes – not Bastards
- Germination is the easy part
- Not all that germinates is good
- No stinger, no sting
- Fly-by makes bye-bye